


Unthinkable

by thevaliantdust



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Spoilers for Episode 34, Vaxleth - Freeform, twin angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5377766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevaliantdust/pseuds/thevaliantdust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon Divergence from the end of episode 34.</p>
<p>What if the worst happened and Vex didn't make it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unthinkable

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.

He doesn’t feel the massive, jarring force of the landing. He doesn’t feel his muscles straining and burning from overuse. He doesn’t feel the impact, the inevitable bruising of his knees roughly slamming into the hard stone as he kneels at her side.

He feels nothing at all, because she feels nothing either.

The warmth of life is draining out of her form by the second. His vision seems to grow darker as well. This can’t be happening.

Every frantic word out of his mouth is strained, fighting past an impossibly large lump in his throat. Get her out. Heal her. Save her. DO SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE.

But their potions are useless; their words, their touch- useless. 

She is still, though not in that graceful way she has when she hunts her prey in the wild. Her arms are limp, free of the characteristic tension in her shoulders that betrayed her deeply held distrust for most of the world. Her face is blank, mouth slack, not a trace of the acerbic wit she uses to disguise her tenderness. Nothing about the body he’s cradling reminds him of the one person who has been with him longer than he’s been alive.

Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe, if they could get far enough away-

But he knows there isn’t time, he’s seen enough to recognise the fickle nature of life.

They’re gathering around, yelling, pointing, trying to think of ways to help. There is a keening whine as a wet bear nose pushes against his leg, eyes just as desperate as the rest. 

He sees nothing, hears nothing. He is trapped in a moment of horrific realisation- too scared to admit even to himself what he already knows. His sister is dead. 

His reverie is intruded upon by a familiar voice behind him. He doesn’t know where she has come from, he neither wonders nor cares. She’s panicked, yelling as well, maybe running towards them? Something about the orb, Lady Briarwood, danger- he doesn’t try to make out the details. 

But lost as he is in his grief, he hears the moment the druid understands. The fear in her voice changes to anguish and then she lands forcefully on her knees at his side- he wonders if she felt anything either- and her hands are pressed against his sister’s arm and she closes her eyes and whispers and he watches her try so hard it’s as if she’s pouring her own life essence into his sister and despite himself, despite watching every one of his friends try and fail, for one tiny moment he has hope.

Nothing. 

Everyone is silent in anticipation; for a moment breathless as the lifeless form in his arms. 

Keyleth lifts her hands and the hope is gone. She’s shaking her head, desperate, disbelieving. He’s never known pain this severe- it feels curiously like nothing at all. 

He is almost scalded by the two soft hands that grab his face, forcing his eyes to meet with hers. Tears are streaming freely down her face but there is a look so bitterly determined in them that he would be confused if he wasn’t so far gone.

“We’ll bring her back, Vax, we’ll find a way. I swear to you, we’ll find a way!”

It takes him a moment, a long moment, but something stirs in his chest. He wishes it were hope, but it is far too late for that. He looks intently into Keyleth’s eyes for a second before forcing his petrified muscles to move. 

“Grog,” he croaks, his voice barely there, “get my sister out of here. Go, all of you. Now. Go.”

With a gentleness that time doesn’t really allow for, he transfers Vex’ahlia’s limp body into Grog’s arms.

Percy asks what they’re all thinking. “Where are you going?”

Vax doesn’t have enough of him left to respond. He takes a last look at his sister, turns, and runs back to the room they came from. 

Fierce cries from Vox Machina follow him, imploring him to return. Percy is about to run after him when Keyleth stops him with a hand on his chest. “No, I’ll go after him. Get Cassandra and get everyone out. There’s no need for two people to lose sisters tonight.”

She looks around at the group. “All of you, go. Get Vex out, take her somewhere, find a way to bring her back. I’ll make sure she has someone to come back to.” With that, she turns and runs after Vax, not waiting to see if they follow her orders. 

He has already disappeared through the door she managed to destroy to make her escape. Desperately hoping she’ll be able to get them both out alive, she runs into the room just in time to see Vax leaping up the stairs towards a sluggishly stumbling Lady Briarwood, who is making her way towards the spinning orb which seems to be slowing, pulsing erratically. Missing an arm and seemingly most of her lifeforce, Lady Briarwood is making slightly slower progress than usual, which is all Vax needs. Keyleth watches in horrifying slow motion as Lady Briarwood stretches out her remaining hand to the orb, hunger and manic desperation in her eyes, fingers less than an inch away when Vax takes a running leap at her, using his considerable momentum to carry them both off the ledge, plummeting downwards at a dangerous velocity.

Keyleth is running towards their landing site before they even reach the ground. It’s easy to see Lady Briarwood has not survived the fall by the angle of her neck alone, never mind the glossy sheen to her unseeing eyes. 

Vax is moving- just- a low moan escaping his lips as Keyleth draws to his side again. “No, no, no, Vax, what are you doing, Vax, please,” she is begging, she’s not sure who or what, her fingers gently probing his head, his neck, checking to make sure she won’t lose another friend today. It takes him a moment to come around fully, but then he’s trying to sit up, fighting against her attempts to hold him in place, looking over her shoulder to find Lady Briarwood’s mangled corpse.

“Lady Briarwood, she’s dead, she’s gone, I checked, hold still, you’re hurt-”

“Keyleth, the orb, I have to stop it, you have to go,” he’s really struggling against her now, using his considerable force to push her off him.

“What are you going to do? Don’t be stupid, I’m not going anywhere-” 

“- get out, now! Just go!”

“I’m not leaving you to go on some suicide mission Vax!” She thrusts her hands forcefully against his shoulders, tries to pin him down with all her weight, her eyes pleading with him to see reason. “I can’t lose you! We can’t lose you, Vex would never-”

“She’s DEAD, Keyleth! My sister is DEAD so don’t talk to me about what Vex’ahlia would do because we’ll never FUCKING KNOW will we, and it doesn’t matter anymore, so just go!” He stops fighting as he’s yelling, his voice beginning to give out, so that his last words are barely a whisper. “Please, let me go.”

It is the most broken sound she’s ever heard.

Her arms, locked up against his shoulders, wrap around him instead, holding him more tightly than either of them can stand. It’s the only way she can think of to hold him together.

In this room of darkness and depravity and death, a single heaving sob breaks the silence. His arms come up around her, shaking wildly, and he can barely grip her at all as his strength is sapped away in the instant he lets himself feel. There are no words for this feeling, this moment. 

Her lips are pressed to the top of his head and she’s whispering a mantra in his ear. _We’ll find a way, we’ll find a way, we’ll find a way…_

Somewhere inside him he finds just enough strength to lift his head and look at her. When their eyes meet he sees pain and anguish reflected back at him, but they are tinged with hope. “I’m here,” she tells him, pressing her forehead against his, her fingers locking in his hair with tiny tugs of pain that somehow help to ground him in this moment. “Are you with me?” she asks, her voice gentle but firm.

He can’t bring himself to answer but he nods his head slowly, the movement against her head creating a moment of mirrored synchronicity.  
“I have an idea to end this all. I need your help. I need to trust that we’ll get out of this alive. Together. Can you promise me that?” Keyleth pulls back, seeking to meet his eyes.

He meets her gaze, lip quivering, chest hollow- but he nods again. “Together.” he promises.

She takes his hand, pulls him shakily to his feet. 

“Together.”

It’s not nearly enough and yet in this final word she puts her hope and pain and condolence, her fear and uncertainty, the goodbye she hopes she won’t need as they walk towards the darkness they have to face.


End file.
